How much do you love yourself? The ideal answer, at this point in life, can only be deeply. Even on the worst of days, even when struggling with difficult relationships and jobs and physical ailments, as a woman ages, there is a moment when she shifts in her acknowledgment, and acceptance, of who she is, who this body is that holds her. Unfortunately, in a world that often doesn’t view aging as a graceful, powerful process, that sentiment is not always reflected in common statistics. Studies report statistics that say that many women over 50 feel abandoned by others, by society, by media, as they age. But these surveys don’t have to be definitive.
Aging is Power
With aging comes the greatest gift of all: a sense of deep acceptance. This is something that younger women, still learning who they are and what they want in this life, often struggle with on a daily basis. As a woman ages however, this deep acceptance is the breeding ground of a greater love. Love for the self, and self care, has been converted into a multi-billion dollar industry, but really, the answer for how to love the self deeper, more intentionally, lies within. You already know how to do it.
Knowledge Equals Love
To know thyself is to love thyself. Knowing thyself comes with accepting all of the perceived flaws, imperfections, and foibles. It comes in the small moments when you see your physical strength, your mental fortitude, your spiritual trust, your ability to laugh, your smile. There are moments when such a wave of love washes over, and this love-fest is all the more important during the powerful times of transition. Menopause is such a time, when a woman’s body is changing internally and externally. As estrogen production decreases, a series of mental and physical symptoms can emerge, temporarily or for longer periods of time. You may find yourself getting irritated, or forgetting more details. You might feel aches in your body, experience hot flashes, and question your own womanhood. Sexually, libido may change, and you might question your intimate relationships. All of this is normal, and yet, through natural menopause remedies like Effisoy, the symptoms can be regulated.
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A Practice in Self Love
While your body finds its new rhythm, one of the best ways to process this change is to practice loving the self a little more intentionally. One such method is to treat yourself to a date night. Yes, an actual date night. You can take this as literally or as metaphorically as you want. A date night may typically be defined by you as a fancy evening with a partner–a dinner, a movie, a walk through nature, whatever gives you a bit of zest for the moment. Instead of asking your partner, a friend or child to accompany you on this particular date night, why not treat yourself?
The Perfect Date
If you love good food and have found a new restaurant, make a reservation. For one.Or, just show up spontaneously. Dress up if you want to; dress down if you want to. Bring a few things with you: a book, a journal, drawing materials. Whatever you enjoy doing for fun. Arrive at the restaurant and proudly claim you are the one they’ve been waiting for. You are the one you’ve been waiting for, as well. Sit down and treat yourself to what looks delicious, to that which calls to your stomach and soul. During the meal, try to set your phone aside. Instead, look around at others, smile. Write about the food, write about the moment. Draw and doodle like you used to in elementary school, or like you still do on a daily basis. There is so much to enjoy in the simple pleasure of being with the self.
Why This May Be Hard
Women are psychologically and socially wired to place their sense of self worth in others. That expectation has been passed down through generations and reinforced through systems of power. Taking time for yourself, without anyone else, is one way to combat this system that asks for a woman to care about others rather than herself first. Be indulgent. It’s natural. Just like on the airplane, when the flight attendants prepare you for that terrifying moment you hope never happens: the oxygen mask. They tell you to put your mask on first before putting the mask on another next to you. You can’t help anyone if you aren’t secure yourself.
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After you take yourself out on this date, wherever you went, whatever you did, let us know about it. Tell your female friends. Leave a comment at this blog. Take a selfie if you’d like and share it. Embrace the part of yourself that wants to luxuriate, that wants to explore, that wants to better know yourself. Moments like these, especially during the cycle of menopause, are all the more important because they pause the normalcy that you’ve created in your life and inject the day with a little something special, with extra love and care. A happy mind and content sense of self are some of the best remedies for a body that’s changing, and more time for the self is never a the wrong solution.
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